I really don’t mean for all of my posts to be downers. Really. I’m (mostly) a very positive, upbeat, “cup half full”, “silver lining” type of guy. Really.
With that in mind it would seem that I should be posting very motivating, energetic and uplifting messages. And I would really like to. It’s just not where I’m at right now.
As I share with my wife some of the feedback and “honorable mentions” from others in the OC, she says “that’s great hon, you *should* post more”. I think about what I should write about. I struggle with topics and ideas. I struggle because they are just that – struggles.
Would it be fair if I took all of these things and painted them in some pretty picture? Do I need to try to put some artificially positive spin on each and everything I express here? I’m not going to do that.
This journal is as much for me as it is for all of you. I need some outlet to express myself. When I feel good about things you will have the opportunity to share that good feeling with me. When I’m feeling a bit crabby or depressed, guess what, you will have the opportunity to share that feeling with me too. I hereby promise to stay 100% true to myself, and will not try to artificially flavor anything one way or another. Love me or leave me.
I’m pretty sure I’m going through another level or cycle of acceptance, which would explain some of the recent hostility about it. It’s really been rubbing at me lately. I’m working through it though, and I can feel that I’m making progress.