“Help Wanted”

I haven’t been logging much for the last two weeks.

It doesn’t hurt. The world is not falling apart. In fact, I have not noticed a single bad thing as a result of not logging.

Do you know what happens when you burn your hand? It hurts. Bad. As soon as you begin to experience the pain, your reflexes yank your hurting appendage away from the item causing the pain. You don’t think about it – it just happens. Automatically. There is an association built, at a very basic level, that makes you remember what happened and not to do it again. Then your hand continues to hurt afterwards for a while, depending on how bad it was burned. The healing process starts, and your avoidance association is firmed up even more.

The action that you took which burned your hand? Yeah, you’re probably not going to do that again. At least not willingly.

This is something that Kevin and I have talked about before. The lack of immediate consequences for less than great control. It’s quiet. It’s subtle. It’s slow.

Until something happens.

Now_Hiring

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Help Wanted – Inquire Within

JOB TITLE: Personal Diabetic S.W.A.T. Enforcer

COMPANY: Scott’s Diabetic Life, LLC

JOB DESCRIPTION: As a PDSWATE you will be completely responsible for:

  • monitoring Scott’s decisions and actions
  • maintaining, updating, categorizing a complicated database of situations and scenarios – drawing upon that to recommend and suggest solutions for present conditions
  • having a complete nutritional information database (constantly updated) in your head
  • accurately counting and measuring all food items
  • recording all blood glucose test results
  • detailed recording of any/all factors that may impact blood glucose levels
  • always, ALWAYS having multiple sources of fast acting glucose close at hand
  • maintaining all prescriptions and medical equipment inventories
  • carrying with you, at all times, an exhaustive supply of back up supplies
  • infusing a load bearing supply of motivation each morning and whenever else needed
  • holding all calls, appointments and responsibilities when Scott needs a break
  • providing some tangible encouragement when positive steps are taken
  • immediately burning the shit out of Scott with a cattle-prod when self destructive steps are taken (you know, reinforcing that bad association)

REQUIREMENTS & QUALIFICATIONS:

  • complete knowledge of the normal human metabolism
  • in depth knowledge of diabetes and best practices for management and it’s effect on the metabolism
  • in depth knowledge of diabetes and best practices for handling emergency trauma situations
  • ability to communicate with doctors and other health care professionals, on their level
  • ability to communicate with Scott, on his level
  • expert knowledge in nutrition (and cooking)
  • detailed knowledge of the health insurance industry
  • in depth knowledge of hospital and clinical procedures
  • ability to empower and motivate
  • high level of care, concern and compassion
  • background in exercise physiology and personal fitness training
  • excellent communication skills (sometimes (maybe often) you will need to tell Scott “No”, in a way that will not damage your relationship)
  • a constant connection to the diabetes community, collecting and sharing relevant and helpful information
  • ability to stay up 24 hours each day, forever, to keep watch. No sleeping on the job.
  • must be willing to work 7 days a week, with no time off. Ever. Even holidays & weekends.

REPORTS TO: Scott Johnson

PAY RANGE: $0 – $0, potential for annual bonus of $0

APPLICATION DEADLINE: Until filled

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All interested candidates may contact Scott Johnson directly.

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Scott K. Johnson

Patient voice, speaker, writer, advocate. Living life with diabetes and telling my story. Patient Success Manager, USA for mySugr (All opinions expressed are my own and do not necessarily represent the position of my employer).

Diagnosed in April of 1980, I recognize the incredible mental struggle of living with diabetes. Read more…