Topic for today:
Click for the Share and Don’t Share – Monday 5/13 Link List.
Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one’s daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don’t see? (Thanks to Melissa Lee of Sweetly Voiced for this topic suggestion.)
I’m learning to understand how things work. I’m learning that doctors and clinicians are trained to disassociate, and that separating the person from the patient helps them treat problems with a clinical clarity that can sometimes be muddied if the relationship gets in the way. I get that, and try to keep it in mind as I interact with my care team (who are pretty wonderful, most of the time).
But I do want them to see how hard I try. I want them to know that most of the time I try my best to manage my diabetes and overall health. I want them to acknowledge the effort I put in, even when it doesn’t yield the expected results.
What I’m embarrassed to share are the days where diabetes gets the best of me emotionally. Those are the days I just “check out” and often drown my sorrows in carbohydrates and destructive diabetes behavior.
As I think about it though, they really need to see those days too. They need to understand that when you live with something that is so difficult to manage, and takes so much work and energy, and grinds on you every minute of every day, and will do so forever, that there are going to be days like that.
trained to disassociate?
like shrinks, politicians, and parole officers ??
=)
I am curious to know if anyone out there has had a different experience with an endo that is Type 1 themselves? Does having Type 1 make an endo more understanding about the fact that this disease is extremely draining and frustrating?
Love this! Definitely think you’re right that sometimes the things we wouldn’t want them to see are also things they probably should, in order to be able to see what living with diabetes is actually like and give us the care we need. Really interesting post as always.
No one warned me that there would be “days like this.” But I found the DOC and learned that I was somewhat normal in having a bad d-day every now and then. That it’s ok to have a bad day every now and then.
So – thanks!
Great post, Scott! There definitely are days like that.
“Mama said there will be days like these, there will be days like these mama said”
“And will do so forever. ” That’s a good point. I think that HCPs assume that our diabetes becomes ‘normal’ for us (as in rote, predictable, easy) and they fail to ‘grop’ the toll of the foreverness of constant vigilance, reassessing, counting, etc.
grip… not grop.
I haven’t a clue what a grop is.
A grop is what happens when your brain is tired from analyzing unanalyzable logbook records. 🙂
We usually don’t have much to discuss with Elise’s endo, numbers-wise, because I feel we have agood grop on it. However, two visits ago, Elise’s numbers were all over the map and I didn’t have any idea what to do. She poured over our logs and dex reports, asked me questions and in the end, she threw her hands up as well.
It’s nice to know endos are human too, right?
Disassociating is one thing, you can separate me as a person from me as a patient but you still should see individual patients! Don’t start quoting studies before you even know if they apply to me or not!
In general I have been happy with my doctors, but that’s a pet peeve!
You are absolutely right, Scott. Those days are just as important–probably even more so–to know about as the good ones. And I don’t think clinical objectivity requires detachment, especially in something that is as behavioral and psychological as living with a clinical illness where the patient has to do most of the heavy lifting. We’re not patients so much as colleagues in the effort to manage diabetes.
yes, we all need to be acknowledged for our ‘try’ because it doesn’t always match the result from the do!
Well said! Thank you for sharing.
It would be nice if doctors remembered that they too have bad days when it comes to their health! It’s all very one-sided, which is irritating. I remember hearing a CDE say at a lecture that everyone in the room knew how hard it was to lose weight so why were they so hard on their patients. I thought that was such an important message to impart.
Yup, there will be plenty of days like that. We all need to throw ourselves a little pity party now and again — we’re not robots 🙂 I applaud you for your honesty and for your ability to get back on track after the small setbacks — a lot of people aren’t able to do that!
And if you could share about those “days” and not be ridiculed wouldn’t it be awesome? That is what I wish for the entire DOC. Doctors that want to help, not harp.
There will indeed be days like that – and they totally suck. But it’s ok to have them, to eat a little too much ice cream and then brush yourself off and carry on.