I pay attention when something sticks in my head. I guess that’s the nature of it sticking in my head, right? It won’t leave me alone until I do something about it.

Last week Kerri posted on Facebook about Meri’s beautiful story called “There is no such thing as small change.” It’s an old blog entry, but it’s one I could read over and over again forever. Talented storytellers tell tales that stand the test of time, and the passion is tangible with Meri and her blog.

It was the title that stuck with me.

There is no such thing as small change.

Even before reading, my brain was filling in – there’s no such thing as a small change in diabetes.

I pictured Meri and her family navigating diabetes over the years. The ebbs and flows, ups and downs, strong, victorious triumphs and weak moments where they’re all just holding it together (we’ve all been there). Then I pictured some external force like an insurance plan or formulary change pushing a “small change” into their diabetes management routine.

Small change, you say?

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SMALL CHANGE!

People outside of daily diabetes management don’t seem to understand this. Or maybe they do and don’t care? Or perhaps they do care, but there are things out of their control influencing these decisions? Or maybe it’s wholly financial? Who knows. Things are often way more complicated than what’s evident at surface level.

But no matter the change, it’s disruptive. It causes worry and concern, and we have to be on high alert for negative consequences. Being on high alert takes a lot of energy, and it’s incompatible with the routine of life!

What’s the best case? The change improves the daily routine and gives more time and energy for life.

What’s acceptable? It’d be alright if the change fits right in and doesn’t make things worse. But you have to acknowledge the energy cost of being on high alert until trust is earned.

What’s not acceptable? The change makes things worse, and you have to put life on pause to figure things out again. Can you put life on hold? I can’t. Neither can anyone I know. But that’s what’s it’s like when someone outside of my diabetes makes a decision that fucks my shit up.

Adaptable and resilient

People with diabetes are among the most flexible and resilient people in the world. I could argue that’s a gift from diabetes, but I carry a lot of frustration that we have to be so adaptable and resilient. On the other hand, I’m also ridiculously proud of us. We don’t recognize the strength we have, and I want to do better with that. I wish for all of us to do better with that. We are amazing. Really.

And change can be useful. I’m thankful that I’m not using the same tools and techniques I did years ago.

But it’s a different situation when I choose to make a change, and I decide to explore different options.  I still have to go on high alert and the energy cost is still there, but it’s easier to swallow when the change is on my terms.

But never forget – it still costs energy.

I promise I will always be an advocate for recognizing there is no small change in diabetes and will push everyone I work with to do the same.

The kicker (and spoiler)

My eyes and brain process Meri’s blog title (“No Small Change”) from Kerri’s Facebook post and there’s a strong feeling of resonance. All of the thoughts I just wrote about fly through my head in the split seconds it takes to load the page. And it’s a beautiful story that draws me in from start to finish. No surprise there.

But it’s got nothing to do with what I talked about here. It’s an inspiring piece about, in Meri’s words, “if we all do something little, our little efforts unite into a tidal wave of help. (for IDF’s Life for a Child)” Heh! Not what I was thinking about at all. Worth every second of time I spent reading it and a cause I support. Just an entirely different topic. Hence this post.

Today makes 38 (!!) years of living with type 1 diabetes. While diabetes itself is nothing to celebrate, each year I make a point to acknowledge and celebrate (even if just internally) all of the hard work I do to take good care of myself. It’s never easy, and diabetes is always a lot of effort. But I’m kicking ass and enjoying a magnificently blessed life. Thank you for being a part of my journey!

I’ve asked Mindy to share more about her upcoming book. With great pleasure, here she is with some of her story and more details about how you can connect with her. Thank you, Mindy, you’re wonderful!

I’ve greatly benefitted from the power of me too when it comes to diabetes. When other things popped up in my life, I wasn’t able to (and sometimes wasn’t ready) to apply this beneficial power.

When my dad passed away when I was 12, I didn’t know a lot of people who understood what it was like until I got older and found more people. I also wouldn’t talk about. I had to be strong.

When I was struggling with mental health, I not only kept these feelings to myself until I was in college, I flat out denied them to myself.

I grew up having issues with my period, but I didn’t talk about them because I grew up with the notion that you kept that to yourself.

One thing that changed how I looked at these things? Being honest and open about them. In college, I changed how I looked at all of these things- including diabetes and life.

After diabetes burnout in college, I started posting more about the good and the bad of diabetes and mental health, but of course other things- of course- life.

When I was diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis, I posted about it online.

That’s when I started hearing or seeing the me too’s. The relief of knowing I’m not alone made a huge difference in my life.

Over the years, I’ve adjusted my blog.. I wanted to talk about everything in my life- the type 1 diabetes, PCOS, endometriosis, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, (other diagnoses), loss, and more- because like the title of my blog says- “There’s More to the Story”. I wanted to talk about it honestly- the good and the bad. It’s hard to imagine that I never even wanted to write a blog- but here I am now!

About two years ago, I realized that I was applying rose-colored glasses to a lot of things in my life already at the age of 22. I was starting to say that all the bad things were worth it or completely ignoring them. I firmly believe that yes I can do it. That I (and others) can get through things. But I want to acknowledge that it can suck. That’s what life is. It’s what I needed to do.

Between the decision to be honest about the positive and the negative and realizing that rose-colored glasses were starting to impact how I looked at things. I decided to write a book about chronic illness and mental health. I’m aiming to balance the positive and the negative together on growing up in general but also with chronic illness and mental health along for the ride.

I’m pursuing self-publishing, and I’m utilizing crowdfunding to make this happen.

Mindy is self-publishing an honest book about growing up with chronic illness and mental health. She wrote the content before rose colored glasses impacted her experiences too much. To help this book get published, you can visit the crowdfunding page to learn more, back her project, and help spread the word. You can also follow Mindy on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and her blog “There’s More to the Story”.

Lucas Davenport, Mitch Rapp, and Jack Reacher are a few book characters I enjoy sharing time with. I recently added Thea Paris to that list.

She is one of 25 elite response consultants who travel undercover to the deadliest situations in the world to recover hostages by any means necessary. And diabetes doesn’t slow her down.

Howe’s book is a thriller that kept me up all night. I finished it in a single sitting and enjoyed every moment. I can’t wait for the next installment.

After reading The Freedom Broker, I had an opportunity to ask K.J. a few questions:

Scott – My blog is about living with diabetes and therefore draws readers touched by diabetes. We’re all too familiar with characters with diabetes portrayed in mainstream media inaccurately, but I was pleased to find this wasn’t the case with Thea. Where does your familiarity with diabetes come from (dare I assume you have a personal connection)?

K.J. – I’m very pleased to hear that you felt Thea’s diabetes was accurately portrayed. My grandfather had diabetes, and I can remember as a child him explaining why he was giving himself needles, and he showed us how he learned to inject himself using an orange. The experience made an indelible impression on me, and I yearned to write about it. I’m also a former medical writer, and I created many articles about diabetes for patient education newsletters, booklets, calendars, etc.

For me, it’s critical to get it right. Research is a real passion. I also had the incredible help of two amazing ladies: Bethanne Strasser, a mother and long distance runner with type 1 who is also an author (authorbethrhodes.com), and Laura Rogers, a brilliant woman with type 1 who spent a year traveling the world (diabetictraveler.org), shipping medicine and supplies to herself along the way. These two spectacular ladies were beyond helpful with insights into what Thea’s life would be like.

Scott – I was also pleased to find just the right amount of diabetes peppered throughout the book. It felt like an interesting touch to an already interesting character, but not so much that it might be a turn-off. Was that balance difficult to find? How did you decide how much to include or leave out?

K.J. – Great question. I definitely edited the diabetes information, tried to weave it in with a light touch. When I originally wrote the story, I included details where they fit organically, then I came back to it later, tried to ask myself what was needed and what might be extraneous. My editor was also quite helpful with feedback on that front, coming at it from a fresh perspective. Diabetes is a huge part of Thea’s life, and she takes it very seriously, but she’s also a healthy, fit woman in her 30s who doesn’t want to let anything hold her back from her calling, which is helping hostages across the globe return home.

I have the deepest respect for how people with diabetes balance their medical condition with their hopes, dreams, and fitness/career goals, and I wanted to demonstrate that while managing her diabetes is always in the forefront of Thea’s mind, she doesn’t let it interfere with her demanding and active lifestyle. I think the key message is that people are more than their illness, and with the right commitment and drive, spectacular things are not just possible, but probable.

Scott – There were some nice seeds for the future planted, such as Rif’s discovery in Nikos’ safe and the team at Quantum pulling together at the end to openly support Thea’s diabetes. What can you tell us about Thea’s next adventure?

K.J. – Thanks for asking about those seeds, as I’m working on the final chapters of book two in the Thea Paris series, which is called SKYJACK, and it will be released in February 2018. Thea is shepherding two young African orphans to their new home in London when the plane they are on is hijacked and the action kicks off from there. The story includes secret stay-behind armies from WWII, the CIA, the Vatican…and I can promise you’ll learn a great deal about plane travel. And from a character point-of-view, Thea is still dealing with the aftermath of what happened in THE FREEDOM BROKER, coming to terms with her family issues.

K.J. also adds, “Anyone interested in reading the first chapter of THE FREEDOM BROKER can visit www.kjhowe.com. I’ll be sending out newsletter updates, and people are most welcome to sign up via my website as well. Thanks for this wonderful opportunity. Really appreciate your insightful questions.”

Thank you, K.J.!

I really enjoyed reading this book, and the next one sounds great, too. I’m already looking forward to it! If you might enjoy it, you can grab a copy from a bunch of different places: