Lighten Up Already!

stones-220037_640I am far too hard on myself.

I beat myself up over every little thing that doesn’t work out perfectly. I get depressed about silly little things and just throw my hands up in desperation. I think about it too much. I analyze every little thing, but when it doesn’t add up (or it adds up to something I’m not wanting to deal with), I get frustrated. I get to a point and then start to feel sorry for myself, and just start spiraling downward.

It’s all very silly because it’s all self-imposed.

If I’m so critical with myself regarding things that are not so great, why don’t I celebrate every success I have?

Have I conditioned myself, or been conditioned by the general medical population, that every high or low BG is some sort of a failure, and one that I am or will be judged on? Is that why I get nervous as heck waiting for my endo to come into the exam room? Again, how silly is that?!

Have you heard about the “dial tone” analogy? There are a whole lot of folks at the telephone companies that work very hard to supply each and every phone with a dial tone the very instant that the receiver is picked up. We take that dial tone for granted. We don’t appreciate the dial tone until one day we pick up the receiver and there is no dial tone – at which time we usually get a little angry, cursing the phone company! Rather than miss it when it’s not there, shouldn’t we appreciate it every time we pick up the receiver and hear that dial tone?

Are decent blood sugars that much different from the dial tone? Should I not pat myself on the back for each and every time I do well?

I’m much too hard on myself, and that is not mentally supportive. I am going to try to lighten up, take a couple deep breaths, be thankful for the “not so far out of range” numbers, be less judgemental, mentally reward myself for making it through unfamiliar scenarios in one piece, take a few steps back, and take one day at a time.

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Scott K. Johnson

Patient voice, speaker, writer, advocate. Living life with diabetes and telling my story. Patient Success Manager, USA for mySugr (All opinions expressed are my own and do not necessarily represent the position of my employer).

Diagnosed in April of 1980, I recognize the incredible mental struggle of living with diabetes. Read more…