I Didn’t Know What To Do…

It was one of those notable moments, one that I knew as soon as the self talk went through my head that I would have to blog about.

It was a perfect example of feeling lost.

I didn’t know if I should drink my Glucerna shake before basketball, or go without it.  I tried to examine and weigh the possible outcomes of each action, but it was like trying to predict the future.  An exercise in impossibility, which quickly frustrated me.

I play basketball usually three days of the week, and I have fallen into a pretty solid routine for the mornings of those days (through a lot of trial and error).  When I wake up I take my symlin bolus.  About 15-20 minutes later I eat a package of oatmeal and program an extended bolus for the 33 grams of carbohydrates for 90 minutes.  I’ll also add in (or take away) any correction bolus for my current blood sugar (which is often different than it was when I woke up just a few minutes earlier).

My basketball basal profile starts tweaking my basal insulin about an hour before I play ball, and about 20 minutes before I get on the court I’ll have a glucerna shake (17g cho, 17g pro) to keep things good during ball.

Today?  Things just didn’t work out.

My blood sugar was awesome when I ate my oatmeal – 109 mg/dl.  Based on that super blood sugar and all of the past times I’ve done this, I didn’t check again until right before walking out the door to play ball.  At that time I was very surprised to see a 204 mg/dl result on the meter!

As I was walking to my car I was trying to figure out what the heck happened?  When I got to my car, not having figured a damn thing out, I found myself very conflicted on whether I should drink my usual Glucerna shake or not!

I was confused by and a bit angry at my blood sugars not following their past behavior, and I felt very lost on what to do next!   Because I can’t predict the future (if I didn’t drink it, would I go low?  If I did drink it would I be running high?), I felt I had to pick the lesser of two evils (risk a low or risk a high).  Both options stink!

uncertain

I ended up drinking the glucerna, and I did run high during basketball (no fun).  It wasn’t the end of the world, but that’s not the point of this post.

The point of this post is that no matter how much experience you have (28+ years for me), diabetes is still able to deal you a WTF situation anytime it wants.  Let me tell you, it sucks to feel so vulnerable and unsure of what to do.

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17 thoughts on “I Didn’t Know What To Do…

  1. It seems when I visit your blog two things are recurring events:
    1) I apologize for not coming by more often.
    2) I am always very interested in your writing and enjoy it.
    Ironic post considering my post from my own blog this morning. Of course your 29 years trumps my 5 with my daughter!

  2. ………still better and easier in being able to correct yourself Scott with a fast bolus unless you are also having DKA compared to Hypoglycemia/Hypoglycemia Unawareness which would put you and others at risk(if you were in your car) for collision/injury or worse.

  3. I don’t think I’d mind this so much if it only happened, say, once a month. But my experience is that I can have a few of these a week.
    I think the only solution is to give up carbs completely. But I don’t think I’m ready for that.
    And I’m with George, you can’t explain this crap to folks without diabetes. They assume that if you follow the rules everything works just fine. Ain’t like that with the big D!

  4. Scott, That so sucks! Please try to focus on the fact that you were making good solid decisions. You are awesome and sometimes D is just one of those bratty kids with a mind of it’s own. Stay strong my friend.

  5. Scotty J –
    D is never the same disease twice, and yeah – it’s incredibly frustrating and annoying!
    Imagine how much money we’d all have if each and every citizen of dblogville had a dollar for every WTF diabetes moment!!
    k2

  6. Like Kristin, I like to “earn” my highs, too, and it’s frustrating when you want to do something good for yourself, like eat a consistent breakfast and then exercise and things go haywire. Maybe if you try 1/2 a shake next time? Oh, who the hell knows?!?!?

  7. Sounds like a Flippin Liver quiver….the darn thing sometimes has a mind of its own as it dumps. I sure would like to have a liver alarm……
    A CLDMS if you will … A Continual Liver Dump Monitoring System ..lol
    Keep going……..Bob

  8. Great post. I know the feeling.
    I want to “earn” my highs… either with pizza, ice cream, laziness about bolusing early. At least then, I know WHY and I know it won’t always be that way.
    My old endo used to look over my numbers and say, “are there any highs that you can’t explain?” I liked that question cause those are the ones we want to get rid of.
    Wishing you no WTF moments today!

  9. Oh, yes. I had a WTF event this morning when I woke up high (194), ate a breakfast I knew how to handle, added in the extra to bring myself down, then WAITED 20 minutes on humalog before I ate, and ended up 330 two hours later. WTF??? And I second George, here–any non-D person is asking “Omigod, what did you EAT?”

  10. I eat oatmeal everymorning, it is so odd how my body does react, OK, I am sometimes confused at these off the wall, 200’s after oatmeal, and then the kicker is when I am only 80. Today when I got to work, well before I did, I set my work pattern, it confuses me so much to start a work pattern, at 11am…I hate it, I got used to working 6am-2pm….it worked, this stinks, so sometimes if I change my pattern an hour before I start rising, sometimes I am the same….yesterday, I forgot to change my pattern and was 96 when I wanted to eat, I was afraid to bolus with this so I ate some mm’s made the bg’s go to 150 ate lunch and even bolused less, and ended up with a 49 two hours later ughhh…then today, I decided to change it an hour before work, so I did, I was 114 when I wanted to eat, nervous because of yesterday, I still decided to eat mm’s I made my bg too high, still skimmed on teh bolus and was 200 four hours later ughhh, but when I did a teeny tiny correction within an hour I was 136 weird only .5 units, I usually need, seriously a unit, so anyway….I ate a tiny dinner, and was a nice 106 when I went home, I hate to go low at work, I am tweaking the bg’s and patterns like crazy with my erratic schedule it is so hard….I know what your saying WTF
    Cheryl

  11. Dam Diabetes!
    Just when it seems to be coasting, I get some crazy reading for no explained reason.
    I was getting into my car to drive across town this afternoon. I tested and was 109.(and still had a little insulin on board) I thought I should have 15 grams of carb since I’d be driving. An hour later I was 200. Crap.
    I guess the good news is that your basketball program works SOME of the time.
    (maybe there was extra sugar secretly put in your oatmeal 🙂
    Dust yourself off and climb back on that horse.

  12. It’s one thing for G to have the WTF moments, because he’s just so darned used to it. It irritates him, but he just takes it in stride.
    For me, when I have a spike and then the big drop, it shouldn’t happen. There’s no logical reason without insulin supplementation (except that my insulin production is obviously screwy). And that irritates him as a WTF moment.

  13. Yeah actually this morning I had wtf situation, (fbs 109) running late getting daughter off to school, only thing I did was brush my teeth and wash up…run out the door, two errands, feeling whoozy..check my sugar and it’s 184! Guess I shouldn’t bogart that toothpaste eh? dang lol. Just wait until your older and walk into a room and go wtf did i come in here for, repeatedly lol. Mkay just wanted to speak up and say hey ya, take care!

  14. I know what you mean. It’s irritating when things change from one day to the next & you didn’t do anything different. Unfortunately, diabetes tends to have a mind of its own at times. All we can do is try & hope for the best, right?

  15. The tough thing is trying to explain the WTF moments to non-D people.
    I find that people hear about a bad BG situation, they automatically assume you did something wrong.
    I will send them to this post.
    🙂