I need to get something off my chest.
I am in the worst shape of my life.
With major changes in my life routine since my work with Cozmo stopped, I haven’t kept up on my exercise at all. In fact, without much of a routine, everything is all screwy. I am getting depressed (not good right before winter!), I am gaining weight, my blood sugars are crazy.
I’m in a bad spot, and that makes me feel blue. Feeling blue makes me eat more. Eating more makes me feel worse. Which makes me eat more. What the hell!?
If I know that I am in a destructive cycle, and I recognize how shitty it makes me feel, why is it so hard to snap out of?
I feel so overwhelmed by the big picture. I am completely paralyzed by the daunting mission of turning myself around. I am afraid that I don’t have the energy I need to push the boulder up the hill.
(One of ) The answer(s) is simple. Walking.
If I know the answer, or at least some way to start working on the big problem, why don’t I just go do it? It is frustrating and depressing to feel so stuck.
Someone please slap me out of it! Or get a cattle prod…
[…] kids off with my dad, visited for a while, then headed to the Mall of America for a walk (thanks to all of the encouragement!). I started walking at 10:15 AM, and already my blood sugar had jumped up to 192 mg/dl. There […]
You know Scott I’ve been sitting on this post since you posted it. I wanted to think of something clever to say or insightful or something. This is what I came up with…. nothing 🙁 I’m sorry. I wish that I could give you some advice or give you words of wisdom but I have none.
I hear what you are saying. It sucks. Keep working through it. Keep talking about it. Remember that you are not alone.
Just do it? One step at a time? Nah… wouldn’t wash with me, wouldn’t get me motivated. More to the point might be… What’s stopping you from having that motivation? D-burnout? Life-changing stuff? Stress? You just want a rest? All valid and probably appropriate reasons. I don’t presume to know what the reasons are for you. George is right, don’t beat yourself up over it. Pat yourself on the back – at least you’re recognising a problem and looking for something to help. Lots of people go way beyond that and don’t care at all. We blog, we talk, we… Read more »
Your post totally hit the spot. I’ve been meaning to get started on my exercise routine for the past few months. I kept telling myself, I’m going to do it today…and of course, I’d end up finding other things to do. Finally, yesterday I got home, changed straight into work out clothes, and hit the gym. No thinking about it, no more excuses.
That first step is always the hardest. But I figure, making it a part of a daily routine is what works (at least for me). Good luck Scott! We’re all here for you! 🙂
The answer is in there. You know it as we all do. The problem is the motivation, the drive, the power to take that first step.
You’ll get there. You’ll get tired of this. You will decide that THIS IS IT AND I AM NOT TAKING IT ANYMORE! You’ll fight back and every one of us, especially me, will be rooting you on and helping support you.
I HATE to see my friends HURT. Take care and do not beat yourself up, you can get where you want to go. You have done it before.