Screw It! I’ll Just Eat The Rest…

Image of a can of Campbell's Tomato SoupA while back I wrote about a fight I had with a can of tomato soup (which I lost…).  Tonight I had a similar experience with my dinner.

I took a shot of symlin then put together my meal.  I programmed my meal bolus to be spread out over 90 minutes (because of the symlin), then sat down to eat.

As I got to the last part of my meal, I just didn’t want to eat anymore.  I was perfectly satisfied with what I had eaten, and wanted to just toss the rest.

You probably already know, but I’m totally guilty of over-complicating everything.  This is another great example.  Or, maybe you will all tell me that I am normal in how this played out, and that you probably would have done exactly the same thing (please!).

I wanted to throw the food away, but then my “diabetes mind” started working its curse on me.  Here’s the “play-by-play” (prepare for a  long, run-on paragraph — just like it happens in my head).

I had eaten about 75% of my meal.  I was running an extended bolus, so I had time to stop it.  But then what?  Then I would have to re-program the bolus for the food I had eaten.  But what about the insulin it had already delivered?  I would have to subtract that amount from the calculated total.  In order to get that number (the amount already delivered) I would have to jump through an extra menu or two – no big deal, really, but it is extra “stuff”.  Do I need to worry about the 30 minutes it took me to eat my meal?  I mean, I started a 90 minute bolus 30 minutes ago.  Now I need to start a new, different bolus, with a whole new set of numbers.  Do I program this new bolus to go for 90 minutes?  That doesn’t seem right.  So then I would program it for 60 minutes (the original 90 minus the elapsed 30)?  I don’t know?  This is a late dinner, so I’ll probably be going to sleep in the next few hours.  I’ve been disturbed by lows the last two nights in a row, and am tired.  I don’t want to deal with another low.  If this were lunch, I’d probably just skip this food and have a snack later to make up for it.  There are two things I can do to avoid a low blood sugar later.  I can do all of these calculations to re-adjust my bolus, or eat the food.

As we all know, this stuff runs through our brains in about 2 seconds.  It’s like we’re playing chess, trying to plan our move. Checking for vulnerabilities we’ve opened up by moving, and reviewing the position our move will put us in.  Even though it happens quickly for us, it is indescribably exhausting.

The real bitch of the whole thing?  I went low not even 40 minutes after I finished eating, so I could have (should have!) waited to take my meal bolus anyway.

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15 thoughts on “Screw It! I’ll Just Eat The Rest…

  1. OMG – YOU are not nuts! My husband ‘play’ this game constantly. This disease consumes every minute of every day. It’s enough to absolutely drive a person to insanity!! Noone can really understand unless they are on the ‘ride’!!!

  2. OMG, I love this post. That is exactly the kind of stuff we have to think about all the time and most of the time, we’re not even aware of the processing. And people think the hardest part of diabetes are the needles?? HAH!

  3. I learned my lesson! I either don’t finish the meal or I’m more hungry and eat more. It helps to have a little gastroparesis too. These days, I never bother to bolus before a meal because it usually means the kind of trouble you’re describing.
    I might do a combo bolus near or at the end of my meal, and then have some snack/dessert later. In that case I just do a normal bolus on top of the existing combo. Works great for me.

  4. The long run-on sentence part of this made me smile. How many times a day do we have those long run-on sentences? Most of the time I don’t realize it, unless I’m on the phone with the school nurse and she poses the circumstances and then there’s my pause. She’s used to it. She knows what I’m doing. So funny, although it’s not funny. It reminds me of your video with Ninja – it shouldn’t take so much math to eat!

  5. Ouch, my head hurts!! We have to be mathematicians, magicians, nutritionists, strategists, and our own endocrinologist. No wonder we can’t be perfect all the time. Scott, I hope you can get a handle on those lows, please take care.

  6. What I am wrestling with now is balancing resignation with resolve to keep trying and working on it. I think that the key is to try and keep figuring out how to tolerate all these diabetes difficulties which you describe so well. I pray for strength and resilience because most of it can’t be “fixed”, just tolerated.

  7. I am relatively new on insulin…you folks scare the pants off me. I am struggling with post meal BG in 250’s on 28 g of carbs. Starting BG is 127. Dosing 1:5 carb ratio with novolog. I dose high sliding scale for correction and bolus 1:5 for meal . Before insulin my diabetes lived with me but now I live with it. 24.7……… I am taking 5-6 shots a day and cannot seem to find a happy medium. Have been taking BG every two hours for past three days, keeping a food diary, and getting no sleep. This stuff is making me crazy… especially at dinner time…. I check 2 hours after dinner and am 246. If I treat according to my sliding scale…I will go low in the middle of the night. The Lantus I have taking 2 times a day. Increasing 1 unit each day (p-er dose). I am now at 38 twice a day…. BG at 7 was 143 and at 8 was 112. no insulin, no food…. I am so confused. Thank god have appt with diabetologist 27th of this month. Have endo appt 26 of May…. Pam

  8. Now I know why I’m too tired to exercise..you are right,this stuff is so exausting.(even beyond the bg swings)And eating a meal feels like working a Calculus problem!

  9. I probably would have done the same thing and just forced myself to eat the meal. I’m not on a pump, but with symlin it makes it harder to finish a meal, so I find myself in this situation quite often. A few times a week, symlin will cause me to go really low right after a pretty hefty carb meal and correct bolus.. forcing me to treat and then skyrocketing afterward. Sometimes, the D just makes absolutely no sense!

  10. I’m not on a pump, so I don’t have anywhere near that much math- I have the distant ancestor to that problem: this meal is not evenly divisible by my carb ratio and falls right in the middle of two bolus amounts. Leave some on the plate, or figure out something to add later? In the short term, my impulse is to err high instead of erring low. But how many times do you want to do that?

  11. Oh yeah, I’ve been there. All those years of exchange diets and Regular/Lente “feeding schedules” completely killed my hunger reflex. Wouldn’t it be nice to just eat when you want to, and not have to think about it?