I Hate Food

I hate food.

I hate that I love to eat.

I hate that I don’t really love to eat because there is all kinds of mental bullshit attached to it.

I hate it doesn’t even matter if the food is good or not. I sometimes keep eating in hopes that the next bite will somehow magically taste so much better than the last.

I hate that I sometimes eat just to fill time.

I hate that I eat because I’m tired or bored or upset about something.

I hate that food plays such a big role in managing diabetes.

I hate feeling so damn uneducated about nutrition.

I hate using that as an excuse for poor choices and poor lifestyle.

I hate knowing that I would probably struggle with food issues even if I didn’t have diabetes.

I hate thinking that maybe I have food issues BECAUSE of diabetes and the baggage it attaches to food.

I hate that I know enough to know that I shouldn’t be eating so much of certain things.

I hate that I love carbs.

I hate that it is carbs that do the blood sugar damage (why oh why couldn’t it be rabbit meat or something strange and gross like that?).

I hate that I hate so much of the other things (fruits, veggies, salads, healthy proteins, meat).

I hate that I don’t use good healthy food to fuel and repair my body.

I hate that there is so much to learn, and that I keep procrastinating.

I hate that I really know it is not that difficult or hard to do, but I keep using that as an excuse to take the first step.

I hate that I am not genuinely interested in learning about food and how that undermines my efforts to do so.

I hate that I understand I need to acknowledge the role that food plays in my diabetes and lifestyle management in order to move in the right direction.

I Hate Food.

Hate You - Srsly

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Scott K. Johnson

Patient voice, speaker, writer, advocate. Living life with diabetes and telling my story. Patient Success Manager, USA for mySugr (All opinions expressed are my own and do not necessarily represent the position of my employer).

Diagnosed in April of 1980, I recognize the incredible mental struggle of living with diabetes. Read more…