I Hate Food

I hate food.

I hate that I love to eat.

I hate that I don’t really love to eat because there is all kinds of mental bullshit attached to it.

I hate it doesn’t even matter if the food is good or not. I sometimes keep eating in hopes that the next bite will somehow magically taste so much better than the last.

I hate that I sometimes eat just to fill time.

I hate that I eat because I’m tired or bored or upset about something.

I hate that food plays such a big role in managing diabetes.

I hate feeling so damn uneducated about nutrition.

I hate using that as an excuse for poor choices and poor lifestyle.

I hate knowing that I would probably struggle with food issues even if I didn’t have diabetes.

I hate thinking that maybe I have food issues BECAUSE of diabetes and the baggage it attaches to food.

I hate that I know enough to know that I shouldn’t be eating so much of certain things.

I hate that I love carbs.

I hate that it is carbs that do the blood sugar damage (why oh why couldn’t it be rabbit meat or something strange and gross like that?).

I hate that I hate so much of the other things (fruits, veggies, salads, healthy proteins, meat).

I hate that I don’t use good healthy food to fuel and repair my body.

I hate that there is so much to learn, and that I keep procrastinating.

I hate that I really know it is not that difficult or hard to do, but I keep using that as an excuse to take the first step.

I hate that I am not genuinely interested in learning about food and how that undermines my efforts to do so.

I hate that I understand I need to acknowledge the role that food plays in my diabetes and lifestyle management in order to move in the right direction.

I Hate Food.