Who’s tricking who?

The lab technician was so bad that I actually had to tell her to take the needle out and try again.  She was after “old faithful”, a reliable vein that no other lab tech has ever missed.   I have a pretty high tolerance for the lab draws, but even I couldn’t watch this.  It felt like she had the needle buried all the way in, and was twisting it around like a cooking spoon in some mashed potatoes.  She hit the mark on her second attempt, and a couple tubes of red gold later I was out of there.  That was Friday, April 25th.

My endo appointment was one week away, and I couldn’t wait.  I was excited to hear what kind of result using symlin would have on my A1C.  I have never expected a lower A1C as much as I did for this appointment.

I was so excited that I tried calling in on Monday and Tuesday to get the results over the phone.  Monday they hadn’t arrived yet, Tuesday they were there but the nurse would not give me the result over the phone.  I resigned myself to patiently wait until my Friday appointment.

Friday morning rolled around and I could not WAIT!!!  Is that crazy or what?!  I was excited for my quarterly endo appointment!

It was almost like watching a rigged boxing match.  I watched every punch, every blow, every miss.  I watched an early round knockdown.  I watched a masterful boxer steadily and methodically pick apart his opponent.  I watched the momentum ever so slowly drain out of one fighter, and as if it were some sort of siphon, it filled the other with confidence and energy.  For twelve rounds it was very clear who was winning the fight.  And the judges gave it to the other guy.

My A1C has gone up a bit, and I am shocked, stunned, saddened, and crushed.  Unsure of what to think, unsure of what to say.  Unsure of which way is up or down, right or wrong.

I felt that my blood sugars had been better than ever for the past three months.  Better than ever, other than the five years of my life pre-diagnosis.  Do you understand what I’m saying?

So what’s next?  I need to let my emotions draw down a little bit, then sit back and analyze the tape.

I’ve not been logging much, so maybe my “good” blood sugars have not been all that good at all.  I test with about five different meters, which creates a boatload of confusion and chaos trying to download into a single program or logbook.  I don’t have any records to point back to and say “Look!  I really DID do so much better than my crappy A1C indicates”.

Maybe I’m not catching my highs.  Even with doing upwards of 8-10 tests per day, there are many spots where I could simply be missing trouble.  I’ve tried some of the CGM devices out there, and may move towards one solution soon.  They are very expensive though, which is unfortunately a show stopper for me currently.

So for the time being, I will be diligent about entering all my tests into my pump, so I have a single data source.  This will give me a little better picture of what is going on.

In the meantime?   I HATE HOW UNFAIR DIABETES IS SOMETIMES!!!!