I want to open up my head to everyone a little bit, hoping for some thoughts on why I did what I did.
I was doing some basal rate testing on Sunday, and was fasting until about 2:30 PM. I got some decent data from the test, but was downright hungry since the moment I woke up until the moment I finally ate something.
I very carefully orchestrated the activities of me and the family to land us at the door of Old Country Buffet precisely at 2:30 PM. Can you see where this is going?
I was so hungry that I was intent on putting a dent on their buffet line, blood sugar be damned.
Sure, I did make an attempt to bolus for what I ate, but accurate carb counting when freestyling like that is not one of my strengths (not that I can’t do it, I just hate it and rebel against it with wild LADCS boluses).
So I ate, and ate, and ate. The thing is, the food there is not good. In fact, it is barely one notch above bad.
I let the hunger totally bully my “know better” and sweet talk me into doing it, regardless of the uncontrollable blood sugar that comes with eating so much food.
Why?
I paid for it with high blood sugars for what seemed like days. And I knew full well that would happen before I started, but went right on ahead anyway.
Why?
This might sound grotesque… but I think of all the different people (possibly sick people) breathing over the food, and handling the buffet utensils. Then, I just order something really nice for myself as a regular order and avoid the buffet. This prevents me from getting seconds and I still feel full. But of course… some restaurants do “buffet only” now so it can be difficult to order in sometimes! Don’t beat yourself up, just treat yourself occasionally so you won’t binge all the time.
What can I say…I just love your honesty. I hope you live until you are 110.
As others have said, your honesty and openness is refreshing. Scott, we all struggle with this. My daughter has Type 1, not me, but I do the same damn things as you!
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Those dots are pauses while I look right at the empty plate from 2 key lime pie pieces I just at at 3pm today. Why? Because I have no self control and wanted to dammit!
Sometimes I just have to do this to get it out of my system. Then I’m fine. I figure if we don’t do this all the time, then we’re okay, right?
Scott, like the others have said, we do it because we are HUMAN and feel the need to release the control diabetes has over us.
Don’t beat yourself up over it. It happens to us all.