Courtesy of the “Wayback Machine“, I bring you the very first entry I made in my online diabetes journal. This was back on February 28, 2000. Far before Blogger made things easy, and I had to write the entries in HTML. The journal is no longer available, but thanks to the wonderful tools available on the internet, I was able to find much of my old stuff. I’d like to share it with you. It was a pretty traumatic event that led me to start recording things. I guess I didn’t want all of the emotions involved with living life with diabetes to go unrecorded.
28 Feb 2000
Well, I had a little “incident” Thursday (2/24/00) night. I had my first seizure since jr high school. That was about 13-15 years ago. This was the first reaction I’ve had that I needed help with since about that time too.
It was like a bad dream. I woke up and there was two para-medics and my wife looking down at me (just like you see in TV…). One of the para-medics was holding a bag of glucose that they had given me via IV. They kept asking me what day it was, etc.
Then, it all started to make sense. I was really upset that this happened. I had played basketball earlier that night. I didn’t test my blood-sugar before playing. During the 1st or second game by infusion set came out. That happens a lot. Usually it’s Ok, because I’m playing basketball – I usually need to turn it off for a while, otherwise I’ll get too low. After the first couple games we sat down for a break. When our turn came up again we got on the court. My muscles felt funny. Very crampy, especially my calf muscles. I thought it was just from sitting down too long. I didn’t have the energy I did the first few games, and just generally didn’t feel good. We played a few more games, then I decided I was ready to leave. I tested my blood sugar, and it was 393!!!! No wonder I felt like crap!! My blood-sugar must have been high before I started playing. I immediately took a shot of 14 units humalog.
I drove my friend Chris home, then headed for my house. When I got home, it had been maybe 45 minutes to an hour since I had taken that shot. I did another test and now it was up to 513!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I went into a panic! I took another shot, don’t even really know how much, but it was a lot, maybe another 14-20 units. I was getting worried about DKA. I jumped in the shower, then immediately replaced my infusion set – and pumped some more insulin. 40 minutes later I was down to 443. Ok, that’s a good sign. I went to bed, and was thinking I would wake up and do a test in a few hours.
That’s the last thing that I remember before waking up with the para-medics in my bedroom.
After it has all sunk in, I’m really frustrated with the way I’m taking care of myself these days. It’s really hap-hazard. I’m riding the high-low roller coaster all the time!! My motivation has been very low lately. I’m frustrated that my wife had to go through that trauma – it was probably the scariest thing that she has been through. I’m frustrated that it is so hard to do what I need to do. I’m frustrated that diabetic supplies cost so much money. I’m frustrated that medical insurance companies make it hard to get the supplies I need. I’m frustrated that medical suppliers make it hard to get the supplies I need. I’m frustrated that life insurance companies deny me just because I’m diabetic. I’m frustrated that I have to count how many doritos I eat. Sometimes I just don’t want to think about all that.
But, I have to. I have no choice. I need to
find a way to deal with all the things I need to deal with. I only make it worse on myself the more I fight the system. And really it’s not the system I’m fighting, it’s myself. I struggle with the discipline necessary to be in good health. I need to be better.
Sigh…I wonder what my co-pay will be for that ambulance…
