What if I’m just not feeling it?

Don’t worry, I’m not talking about my diabetes management.  At least, not directly.  I’m still doing all the “D” stuff (insulin, checking, counting, confusing, etc.)

I’m talking about playing basketball.

I haven’t played since 2/12/09.  And I don’t miss it.  What’s up with that?

I find that I’m not really sure what to do about it.  If I force myself too much will I completely spaz out and rebel hardcore against it?  If I allow myself too much slack will I stay stuck in a mode of not going?

Maybe taking a break every now and then is alright?  Or maybe not?

I’m trying to explore why I’m not feeling into it.  I know that if I would just go and do it, that I’ll have fun and feel better, so what’s stopping me from going?  I just don’t get it.

My first thoughts are that it is nothing to do with the basketball itself, but rather all of the baggage that goes with it, both “diabetically” and logistically.  As good as exercise is for you, it adds a WHOLE BUNCH of extra work and unpredictability to your diabetes management.  And that affects my motivation to do all of the logistical stuff (get my gear washed, packed, and with me, get my work stuff situated before and after, the whole locker room thing, etc.).

It’s all bullshit excuses that I’m using to justify to myself that it is alright to skip it.  I know this, but it doesn’t make me feel bad (which isn’t the best way to do it either).

I guess I’m trying to be a little more gentle and forgiving of myself, and I don’t want to force myself into doing something I’m not really into.  At least not yet…

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10 thoughts on “What if I’m just not feeling it?

  1. I say if you dont miss it, then you dont need it right now. When you actually start to feel guilty about not doing it, its time do SOMETHING that makes you feel good…whatever that may be! Heck, I didn’t miss my treadmill for a year! Although I paid for it dearly (weight gain!) I didn’t realize how much I needed and loved it until it was back! You’ll get there….you just need a break!

  2. I have no advice, but I’m in the same place with my gym attendance. If you figure it out, let me know! Or maybe we could pick a return date (per George’s advice) together…. Sounds like there are a few others who might join the club.

  3. Hey Scott –
    You need a brand new sport or exercise. I bet boredom has something to do with it. I get bored with my routine, so I need to kick it up a notch with different things. It seems to work for me. 🙂

  4. I s’pose it depends on why you play bball to begin with; if the main point of it is for fun and you’re not feelin’ it, let it go for now and do something else that brings you ENJOYment. If the main point is for exercise, then maybe you’re just in an exercise slump and could do something else that feels easier for you to handle and doesn’t involve a gym and all that crap.
    My guess is it’s a combo of both, as well as an outlet and a way to be a bit more social. As someone going through (and coming out) of a depression (and who lives in WI, which, like MN is bitter cold and snowy and winter is lasting so so long), I can relate to just not feelin’ it, but then for me, this is part of my depression–no longer wanting to do things that once brought me enjoyment…and it feels like too much of a hassle or too much effort to make it to the gym and have to pack the bag, drive over there, change, be social, test and adjust glucose levels, shower, eat when I don’t feel like it, go home, wash the extra dirty clothes, etc. I’d rather just stay home in my heated apt. and chill. Oh man, sorry Scott, I’m not much help at all!! Don’t listen to me!! 🙂

  5. Well, one thing I would recommend is that when you do play basketball again do not wear your iPhone around your neck. 😉
    Seriously though I don’t think taking a short break is bad. I agree with the others who recommend having a finite limit to your break though.

  6. Your blog just populated the ads on my Google Reader sidebar, so thought I’d say hello. My name’s Chris and I’m the mother of an 11-year-old son with type 1 (diagnosed at 5) and a 9-year-old son who’s participating in the TrialNet Natural History study. His pancreas is sputtering. We’re very sad, naturally.
    Oldest Boy has an amazing attitude (so far), but we’re beginning to see signs of self-consciousness for the first time. He grieves the disease every couple of months, as do his father and I, and is devastated about his brothers looming diagnosis. He feels slightly responsible, even though logically he knows he’s not. Difficult.
    I have a blog, but it’s not diabetes based. I’ve written a couple of posts that are about diabetes, but only with the boys’ permission. It’s their story to tell.
    Nice blog – great community. I’ll drop by again!

  7. Forcing yourself could ruin it for you. Taking a break is not a bad thing but I would suggest picking a “return to b-ball” day so then you know, I can chill until then.
    that seems like I could work.

  8. That’s a hard one – as the official queen of rationalization, I know how easy it is for me to come up with perfectly good sounding reasons to do or not do something. It reminds me of when I was a kid and my mom would tell me that I was old enough to decide for myself whether I was too sick to go to school. I usually ended up going.
    There’s nothing wrong with needing a break but I also think that you really enjoy basketball. How about if you tried something like giving yourself total amnesty for this week, not feeling guilty about not going – then went next week just to see how you feel about it?

  9. I soooo agree with Rachel…. WINTER BLUES! Its happened to me and I’m not even the one with diabetes. Sometimes being stuck inside, between the weather being crappy and then work…plus you’ve had some “blues” with all your iPhone stuff that happened. So you’ve had alot going on. Maybe going will help you clear your head and feel “rejuvinated” 🙂 but then again…just vegging out at home with a movie could be the answer as well. Which ever you choose… take some time to relax 😉

  10. That’s a hard one Scott. Maybe going will make you feel better…. Maybe staying home is what you need right now. Only you know the answer to this. But, don’t be so hard on yourself. I don’t know where you are but my excuse lately…. WINTER!!! I can’t seem to motivate myself to do anything so I do understand where you are coming from! 🙂